THE ALAMO
September 18, 2012
GILGAMESH and the Great Deluge!
October 24, 2012
Note: The following is a *humorous* re-examination of “Columbus Day”, first written way back in 2012. For a less sarcastic / better-written take, please check out my book, “EPIC FAILS – The Age of Exploration: Totally Getting Lost” , and the Epik Fails of History podcast for more!
– Erik S.
1451 – 1506: Christopher Columbus
“For the execution of the voyage to the Indies,
I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps.”
– Columbus
In honor of the day named after the dude, I’ve decided to write up a quick little “essay” on the guy.
Christopher Columbus (a.k.a. Cristoforo Colombo / Cristobal Colon) was an Italian merchant sailor who, after reading about Marco Polo, had this crazy plan to chart a shortcut to East Asia, and instead discovered North America… without realizing it. As all Kindergarten kids can tell you: “Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492 back when the world was flat, and discovered America.” Right? RIGHT?!
Well, there’s a few minor problems with those ‘facts’…
- Problem #1: No one from that time period actually thought the world was flat and that ships fell off the edge of the ocean into an eternal abyss. That had already been disproven by mathematicians and astronomers several centuries earlier. (Sorry Flat Earth Society)
- Problem #2: Columbus didn’t discover America as we know it, he discovered the Bahamas. Juan Ponce de León would later discover mainland Florida, but that’s another story in itself.
- Problem #3: he wasn’t the first one to discover North America, in fact he wasn’t even the first European. He was in fact a few hundred years behind Leif Erikson and the Vikings who made landfall in Canada, AND a good 13,000 years or so behind the Native Americans who (allegedly) crossed the Bering Strait into Alaska during the last glacial period.
“Take that Third-Grade-Teacher!”
THE SECRET ORIGIN OF COLUMBUS
As a kid, Chris ran away, and became a deckhand on an Italian ship, where he worked his way up to Captain-status (Kirk-style). On their way to England, his ship was attacked by the Portuguese Navy (by accident), leading to his washing up on the shore of Portugal. From here, he decided to reevaluate his life, and got himself an education as a map-maker. Dude even learned a few languages on the side, but was mostly fluent in Spanish and Italian.
Christopher married the daughter of a Portuguese Admiral and inherited a collection of books. It was among these works, specifically about the travels of Marco Polo, in which he talked about how awesome and wealthy China was. Of course no one believed Marco Polo, so they locked the guy in jail for fraud, he wasn’t able to pass go, or collect $200. Polo inspired Columbus to chart his own voyage and prove that China really existed. There was one problem, he was kinda broke.
Columbus pitched his idea to the Portuguese King who shot him down, and sent him packing, so he went to Spain. Christopher Columbus made a visit to Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand the Fifth (of Spanish Inquisition-fame), where he would eventually manage to convince them to fiscally back his expedition, with the promise of riches with compounded interest.
Columbus asking for doe to fund his ride.
At first they laughed in his face, but Columbus wouldn’t take no for an answer, so kept bugging them until they finally gave in.
During this time, Spain had been fighting a war with the Muslims since 711 C.E., but now that the fighting had finally ceased, there wasn’t enough land to pay the living veterans with, so Columbus offered an easy solution: LAND! (Or at least sacks of gold from said land…) Columbus was just about to go to the French with his idea, when a Spanish messenger stopped him. Columbus found himself in the perfect position to make a few demands: Noble title, and 10% of all earnings – take it or leave it. The Spanish monarchy approved.
Two of the ships they provided him had been repossessed, and it was the Italians who fronted most of the cash, so Spain wouldn’t really lose all that much in the event that Columbus was truly nuts, and / or gearing up for a suicidal mission.
The Three Caravel Ships under Columbus’s command were: The ‘Nina’ (translated from Spanish as: Little Girl), The ‘Pinta’ (“Painted Lady”, aka: Hooker), and The ‘Santa Maria’ (“The Mother of Christ”)…..
<Insert dirty joke here lol>
1492 – COLUMBUS GOES WEST
On August 2nd, 1492, Columbus set sail for Japan. On October 12th, 1492, Columbus made landfall in the Caribbean.
Columbus worked from Marco Polo’s research without realizing that Polo had in fact been using Arabic miles rather than European and Greek measurements, which was to be slightly problematic. During this voyage into the unknown, the crew began to get anxious, because the trip was supposed to only take a couple weeks, and was now going on for months.
As the ship passed the Point of No Return, the crew was ready to mutiny, but Columbus (being a smooth-talking Lando Calrissian type) convinced them to give him another day and fortunately (for him) the very next day they spotted land in the distance! Just to be clear, if North America wasn’t there, his crew probably would’ve starved to death… after cannibalizing their dumbass Captain.
Christopher Columbus claimed this random island in the name of Spain as San Salvador. He was completely under the impression that he’d discovered a new route to India, and so called the indigenous peoples Indians.
Convinced he was actually in the islands off Southeast Asia, when in fact he was in the Caribbean, Columbus continued on his voyages from there hoping to find India and instead discovered Cuba. Over the next ten years Columbus and his crew would crisscross the Atlantic on four separate voyages, later discovering Haiti, where the Santa Maria sank off the coast…
Columbus sailed back and forth from Spain to the ‘New World’ on a few more occasions, eventually colonizing the island of Hispaniola (Haiti).
COLUMBUS GETS GREEDY
“Men are never accustomed to falling into a single error or committing only one sin.” – De Las Casas
As I mentioned before, Columbus wasn’t the first person to discover the western hemisphere, primarily because there were already people living there! That however didn’t stop C-Dawg from planting the Spanish flag and taking the cred. Either way though, Columbus at least deserves credit for the European Age of Exploration, right?
Well here’s where things get really dicey – It was in Hispaniola that Columbus absolutely lost his marbles. This was chronicled by Father Bartolomé de Las Casas, one of his most ardent supporters, who bore firsthand witness to his descent into darkness and wrote extensively about the horrors that befell the native Arawak and Taíno people.
Columbus’s excitement over his ‘discovery’ soon gave way to panic – where was all the gold?! Where were all the oriental riches that Marco Polo’s tales had promised? He began to sweat, thinking about what the Spanish monarchs would do to him if he brought back nothing but soil samples and a shrubbery.
That’s when he noticed the shiny jewelry the native islanders wore… and noted how easily they traded their wealth in exchange for useless trinkets. And if there was one thing Columbus was good at, it was swindling. It would be like stealing candy from a sleeping baby.
If Columbus was alive today he would be a shady used car salesman.
In his own words, Columbus wrote, “The ‘Indians’ are so naïve and so free with their possessions that no one who has not witnessed them would believe it. When you ask for something they have, they never say no. To the contrary, they offer to share with anyone…”
This line of thought led Columbus to exploiting the generosity of the friendly natives with the ferocity of a starving wolf. The Arawak were bewildered by the Europeans’ obsession with their fashion sense. Chris and his crew attempted to find the source of their riches through a heated game of Charades, to no avail. Frustrated, Columbus began searching for something else he could bring back with him.
Wandering aimlessly around the islands for weeks, Columbus had nothing to show for it but a seemingly useless plant the natives kept smoking: Tobacco. Columbus had discovered something that would shape the world economy for centuries to come – and didn’t even notice.
Because he was an idiot.
COLUMBUS GOES GENOCIDAL
You see, Columbus wasn’t just a wandering Karl Pilkington type. No, this guy had more skeletons in his closet than Skeletor. In his quest for a profit, Christopher Columbus completely ignored the discovery of tobacco and instead focused his sights on the natives themselves. In his report to the crown, asking for more money, Columbus offered in return: as much gold AND slaves as he could acquire on his travels.
Yup, that’s right, if swindling the natives of their gold wasn’t bad enough, he then started stealing the natives themselves. Just a reminder, this guy gets a national holiday, for some reason…
When Columbus ordered his crew to round up the islanders, he spoke about them as cattle, under the pretense that they would help them find the gold. The ones that resisted were shot on sight. Columbus further convinced the colonists that the natives were savage cannibals to justify their slaughter. Armed with muskets, swords and hungry dogs, the Spanish mercenaries raided their villages, killing dozens and capturing hundreds. The Spaniards hunted down native deserters and fed them to their dogs.
Columbus immediately put the enslaved population to work digging for gold that wasn’t there. He shipped off hundreds of slaves back to Europe, but only a third survived the trip.
COLUMBUS IS ARRESTED AND SHIPPED BACK TO SPAIN?!
Father Casas continued to write in his journal, appalled by the horrendous actions of his former hero: enslavement, forced labor, starvation, the spread of disease, barbaric torture, mutilation, and ultimately genocide. When all was said and done, the Caribbean had a population drop of 3-to-5 MILLION!
So on his third voyage, his fellow colonists had enough of his bull – Chris was *arrested*, chained in manacles, and thrown into a prison cell without trial before being sent back to Spain, where 23 testimonials came to light that Columbus used barbaric torture on a regular basis. He was voted off the island, Survivor-style.
Despite all the mountains of evidence against him, King Ferdinand pardoned Columbus of all wrongdoing, (because he was sorry?!) and even funded a fourth and final expedition, so that he could continue ‘converting the Indians to Christianity’.
Again, Columbus Day is a thing.
WHY IS COLUMBUS DAY A THING?
Columbus paved the way for many other Conquistadors to follow: Francisco Pizarro, De Soto, Hernán Cortés, Coronado, and Ponce De Leon, among others, leading to the demise of countless Meso-American civilizations. Till his death, Columbus consistently claimed that this ‘Earthly Paradise’ that he’d discovered was located at the end of “the Orient”.
It wasn’t until Amerigo Vespucci’s voyages in the early 1500’s, that anyone realized Columbus had actually discovered an entirely new Continent (or two), which Amerigo then named after himself (The Americas). So yeah, despite being a wandering moron, Columbus, as in the much-revered historical figure, (who didn’t actually discover America, nor was the first European) actually had a very significant impact on world events: the creation of the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade!
It’s worth noting that “Columbus Day” wasn’t actually a thing until 1892 when President Benjamin Harrison recognized it as a contrived political move to ease tensions with Italy, in honor of the 11 Italian-Americans who were lynched by a mob the previous year. Years later, it was officially turned into a National Holiday by President Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1937, following insistent lobbying from a Catholic organization called “The Knights of Columbus” – who have since publicly acknowledged the controversial aspects of Columbus’s legacy in regards to the brutal erasure of Native cultures perpetrated by both Columbus and those who came after him.
So should Columbus have a holiday? No. Should we learn about him? Yes – an more importantly, we should learn *from* his mistakes, because that is the key to building a better future, together. One positive thing that did come about because of Columbus’s mistake? The world has became a much larger place than any culture had originally estimated – a recurring theme, which continues to this day…
So yeah, I guess Happy Columbus Day everyone?
Erik Slader
For more about Columbus and a dozen other explorers, check out my book: “EPIC FAILS – The Age of Exploration: Totally Getting Lost” by Erik Slader and Ben Thompson!
—– More articles on Historic Failure:
——–Sources:
“Columbus: The Four Voyages, 1492-1504” by: Laurence Bergreen
“Empire’s Crossroads: A History of the Caribbean from Columbus to the Present Day” by Carrie Gibson
“1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus” by Charles C. Mann
http://www.biography.com/people/christopher-columbus-9254209
http://www.americanheritage.com/content/columbus-and-genocide
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/columbus_day
http://ux.brookdalecc.edu/fac/history/Tangents/ARTICLESFORTANGENTS/Columbus’s%20Genocide.htm
32 Comments
I thought that this telling of Columbus was fair. I can only think that the use of the word “discover” is being used due to lack of a better term, since you make it clear that he nor those who sailed the Americas before him didn’t discover anything, due to people already live here.
The baring straights thing is still theory, at least when I learned about it, due to bones not being found and just lack of evidence. It’s still unclear how people got to America to inhabit it, that is to say that anyone even needed to migrate at all.
I felt like the voyages after 1492 were rolled into one, which is fine. The 1493 voyage was probably the most important event in Columbus’ life. It was the nail in the coffin for the natives and really set the course for the exploits to follow Columbus.
All in all, the article was good. Nice work!
Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher!
Thanks so much for your feedback! I’ll keep posting if you keep reading, there’s much more where that came from… 😉
[…] Christopher Columbus: Discovers the Caribbean […]
[…] Columbus, the Spanish Conquistadors, Ponce De Leon’s discovery of Florida, and France’s series of […]
[…] Meso-American history. Also be sure to check out my other holiday-related articles: Halloween, Columbus Day, and […]
[…] the terrifying (pee-inducing) reign of the Aztecs, this total jerk-wad named Columbus* accidentally discovered the Bahamas, and then promptly decided he was going to evict, enslave, and […]
[…] ——Click Here for: Christopher Columbus! […]
Whats up! I simply want to give a huge thumbs up for the nice data you will have right here on this post. I can be coming again to your weblog for more soon.
[…] Fail” material, like: Napoleon, the Council of Nicaea, the Crusades (Numbers 1-9), and Christopher Columbus, in an effort to demonstrate things are not always as they […]
[…] Christopher Columbus discovers… the Bahamas? […]
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/columbus_day
Reblogged this on EPiK FAILs!! and commented:
Happy Columbus Day / Day off Work! / National Holiday in reverence of a Genocidal Maniac?! / Monday…
Nice to see that someone else shares my thought processes. These kinds of essays are what used to piss off my History Teachers and Professors back when I was in High School and College.
Haha Yes! Glad to hear it. 😀 Thanks so much for checking in! Let me know if there’s any subjects you’d like to see. I try to put out articles every two weeks at the very least. I’ve got about 40+ more where that came from so far. Currently working on The Crusades and Napoleon back to back… Stay tuned! 😉
Hi Eric,
I can see you’ve recently been interacting with my fellow blogger Arend van Nerel, whom I share a blog with. Like Arend, I think your blog is among the funniest and even educational I’ve come across. I therefore couldn’t resist and nominate you for a Liebster Award: http://randomnessessities.com/2013/10/29/im-a-beliebster-lester-beavers-acceptance-speech-for-his-liebster-award/ …I know the subject of a Liebster Award is totally different from your subject matter, so it’s totally up to you if you want to invest time into accepting this award. Regardless, please see this as a compliment and know that I’ll be checking your blog regularly for more insights on you humans and your hilarious ‘fails’;)
Mr. Beaver,
First of all: Thanks!! 😀
I really do enjoy your site as well. It’s always good to hear that people actually read my ramblings, especially when they get something out of it. You guys are the reason I put so much of my free time into hours of grueling research with absolutely no thought of monetary income.
I’m very honored to accept this gracious nomination. Sorry for the late response, it’s been a busy week. I’ll have to look into the whole Liebster Award thingy, but it sounds pretty sweet!
-Erik Slader
You’re very welcome…as I said, I’m not sure if a Liebster Blog can fit into your niche in any way, but I couldn’t resist giving your site some extra credit;)
[…] …and nothing bad happened to indigenous people ever again! Except slavery. And disease. And genocide. […]
Dear Eric,
I’ve been enjoying your website for a while now…this one post about Columbus inspired me to write down my thoughts about humans, their need to explore…and how that’s not always a recipe for success: http://randomnessessities.com/2013/11/08/189823-days-since-columbus-discovered-america/
[…] Columbus discovers… the Bahamas? […]
[…] Richard the Lionheart, Columbus, and Andrew Jackson, Napoleon Dynamite Bonaparte is more legend than man, and as a result of his […]
[…] Columbus discovers… the Bahamas? […]
[…] …and nothing bad happened to indigenous people ever again! Except slavery. And disease. And genocide. […]
[…] CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS discovers the Caribbean… by accident… […]
[…] off Western Europe from the East, forcing Europeans to expand into uncharted territories (see Columbus). Historians consider this the final chapter of the Late Middle Ages and the official end of the […]
[…] see it all began with Columbus discovering Cuba (prior to founding the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade), which lead to Spain’s […]
[…] needs to set the record straight on this Columbus […]
You have to be kidding me. This might sound a bit rough and certainly a buzz kill but look at it from my view for a minute. I dont hate you, but please, give this shit a rest. Is this another example of White (usually Liberals with White guilt) people using the suffering and decimation of our people and culture to reach after their agendas? “Quick little essay based on google searches done by an apparent 12 year old doesn’t cut it. Screw these “lets set History straight” hate pieces written usually by White people “defending us”.
We for the most part aren’t pissed off about Columbus and don’t need you rewriting out history. Why not concentrate on your own, “”DUDE””
Just like the “revisionists” historic figures and inventors of history he is slanting, the writer cherry picks history and makes a case for his own opinion in between facts including the arguable ones. You aren’t doing any justice to this topic but identifying “skewed facts” and replacing them with your suppositions. I also find that it diminishes history to bend the facts, diminishes the suffering and in many cases minimizes the “climate of the world” and context during that time. Even if it’s something you don’t believe, you have no right to invent it without peer reviewed facts. Then there is including inane memes. The erasure of literally millions of my people and our cousins, our language, our culture is nothing to laugh or make jokes about.
I study History carefully, I am Native Taino of Iberian descent, and was in possession of several copies of the journals of several of the Conquistadors who by conquest, ended up being my ancestors.. I have been studying my combined family’s history and DNA for many years. Your shitty “quick essay” is insulting.
Lets not turn history into another Caucasian generated joke please. If you made any money churning out this piece of shit passing for journalism, you should be ashamed.
Because many people have been trained to hate Columbus. Who had nothing to do with “Plymouth Rock” or Thanksgiving ( like many dumbasses believe, judging by the new hate for “thanksgiving”) Christopher Columbus (a.k.a. Cristoforo Colombo / Cristobal Colon) was an Italian merchant sailor who, after reading about Marco Polo, had this crazy plan to chart a shortcut to East Asia, and instead discovered North America… without realizing it. an explorer who didn’t even sail with an army. An Italian sailing for Spain, He was looking for “riches” but mainly a spice route, remember? I’m not saying he was a “community organizer”, and he isn’t my cousin ok?
but
Meanwhile no one ever mentions the fucking “conquistadores”, Velasquez, Ponce DeLeon, Cortez, DeSoto, Vasquez De Coronado, ALL of who were in search of gold and conquest, all who sailed with Armies.
Columbus discovered and named “Puerto Rico” (2nd voyage), but he was not the conquistador who purged it. That was Velasquez, Cortez etc. They didn’t just “enslave” my people, work and starve them to death, they ERASED our culture, our language, our religion, our archeology, and ended up “finding it necessary” to kill every male above the age of 12 years old, because “A hundred Taino fight like a thousand. Never have I encountered warriors more fierce and worthy of respect.””. -The Field Marshal related to my Grandfather who wrote in his Journal while with Velasquez Cortez during his “CONQUESTS” of the Caribbean Hispaniola, or modern-day Santo Domingo. He served as a notary in the town of Azúa for a few years before joining Diego Velázquez on a 1511 expedition to Cuba,
I bet you never heard of Francisco Pizarro, whose ” fascinating military encounter in itself pitched around 168 Conquistadors (who only 12 arquebuses and 4 cannons among them) under Francisco Pizarro’s command, against 3,000 to 8,000 lightly armed guards of the Inca Emperor Atahualpa”
They never mention Hernan Cortez, who is among the most murderous, worst one dozen humans ever to walk the earth. He is also one my ancestors (by conquest) There was also a field marshal in his army (another of my ancestors) My grandparents had a reprinted copy of his journal I began reading when I was about 12 years old.
Cold Blooded.
Stop hating on Columbus. Tony Montana would have called him a “pussycat” STOP STOP STOP letting them reinvent history to supply you with hate!
I’m only trying to throw in a different way of looking at this., I mean, I understand that many young people are discovering that they learned a “His-Story” version of history but, the truth wasn’t just discovered by a bunch of snot nosed Millennials. I LIKE remembering history. So, even though I as MANY OF US DO, know the facts regarding Columbus day, I for one am not interested in replacing or reviling “Columbus day” with, “Lets hate on Columbus day”. That is my point. The world was once a place of brutal conquest (and it’s still going on),, and the chips fell where they fell. Do you know who was the BIG BIG BIG Winner?
Here’s a hint: The worlds VERY FIRST “chartered” multi-national Corporation. They literally took the invention of slavery and turned it into a franchise, working with Afrikans and Berbers, Arabs. All of this “Exploring” was a grand collective effort to cash in on doing commerce with this “Corporation”. It’s one of the reasons, this group of countries lives in relative comfort even today (as they continue to exploit their wealth gathered over the past 500 years.
Apologies for all the curse words, I’m an old man, old firefighter, old builder with a lot of old habits. Feel free to censor them out if you must.
Peace
https://www.loc.gov/exhibits/exploring-the-early-americas/columbus-and-the-taino.html
Ah shit, do I really have snot in my nose? LOL
I’m a little confused here again, when ‘young people make an effort to understand the truth behind false historical narratives’, that’s… bad?
“I LIKE remembering history.”
– But only your comfy edited version of it apparently.
“The world was once a place of brutal conquest”
– Oh totally, that’s *my* point. Let’s not sugar coat it, let’s learn from it, and do better. Just because something always has been a certain way, doesn’t mean it always *should* be a certain way. Or do you prefer Mad Maxian dystopias?
Well, we can at least agree on two things: fuck slavery and evil corporations. Quick question tho: If ALL of that could be traced to one person (say Columbus, for instance), would you consider them a hero?
I’m honestly, a little surprised that someone with Native Taíno ancestry would so ardently defend the man who caused so much suffering for *your* people, but hey, you’re allowed to have your opinion. However, if your argument is basically that just because Mussolini wasn’t as bad as Hitler or Stalin, we shouldn’t be critical of him, I whole-heartedly disagree.
People like Columbus should not be put on a pedestal.
Yes we should learn about them, and more importantly *from* them, but they should NOT have holidays dedicated *to them*.
Sorry this took a few years to respond to, things got a bit hectic the past few years (2020 happened), but I’ll do my best to address each of your ‘concerns’…
You may not have noticed, but this is a tongue-in-cheek history blog. This is actually one of my earliest articles, and while it may not be my best content, I still stand by it.
While yes, I am white, and consider myself to be rather liberal, I’m also of Hebrew and Black-Irish descent on my mom’s side, I have Cherokee blood thanks to my dad’s mom, as well Slavic roots from the former Yugoslavia, and I’m a descendant of the Mayflower pilgrims, tracing all the way back to Samuel and Edward Fuller, so yeah, maybe it’s just in my DNA that I care about historically marginalized people?
Sorry I didn’t get my funny history *blog* “peer-reviewed”, I guess?
And just so we’re clear – which “facts” are we disputing here?
Which parts are we supposed to ignore? The Cultural Destruction of Indigenous Peoples? The Violence? The Torture? The Sexual Exploitation? The Slavery? The Genocides?
Are we just supposed to ignore the written testimony from Father Bartolomé de Las Casas? What about the other 23 testimonials that led to Columbus’s arrest on his Third Voyage before he was shipped back to Spain in chains for his *well documented* barbaric actions against the natives?
Please enlighten me on which parts were made up…
My intent has never been to diminish or minimize the suffering of others, so I do honestly apologize if that’s what you got from my somewhat satirical history blog. My intention has always been to help others learn about the mistakes of history, including and especially the historical figures that we so often put on a pedestal, because that’s the only way we truly learn and grow as a society.
Because we all make mistakes, but it’s important to learn from them.
I do however feel the need to point out: it’s not about “re-writing history”, it’s about correcting the false narrative that Americans have been taught for far too long.
While I do apologize that you felt insulted by my shitty “quick essay”, I was specifically making fun of Columbus himself, who I would argue deserves to be called out.
And no, I never made any money on this specific article, I have however since co-written four history books. I don’t know if you realize this, but most people don’t become writers or podcasters ‘for the money’. Also, I wouldn’t exactly call my early work ‘journalism’ either, so we at least agree on that…
People have *not* been trained to ‘hate on’ Columbus, quite the opposite actually! People (myself included) grew up thinking he was some great hero, which he wasn’t… which is the point. That’s the whole point of the article!
As society has evolved, historians have gotten better at scrutinizing the past, and as a result, we’ve been given a far more accurate look at our own past, not just the simplified propaganda version, but the true (unedited) story – from a more well-rounded and multicultural global perspective.
Don’t just take my word for it though, do your own research, actually look into *why* people are taking down statues of Columbus and why people are starting to address some of the problematic things that we as a nation have ignored for so long.
It doesn’t help anyone to propagate a proven lie, if new information comes forward that gives us a different perspective.
And on top of all that, the Native peoples affected by the legacy left behind by Columbus deserve better, you and your alleged ancestors deserve better.
The only way to build a better future is to first acknowledge the mistakes of the past, so we don’t continually perpetuate them.
If you’d like to learn more about Pizarro, Cortes, Coronado, and Ponce De Leon, I actually wrote about each of those guys! Pizarro even made it to the final match in our Bracket of Fails on the podcast! (He was narrowly beaten by Stalin as the most Epic Fail of History, besides Hitler!)
“Stop hating on Columbus.”
– No.
While Columbus may not have been *as bad* as the likes of Cortes and Pizarro, that doesn’t exactly let him off the hook either. Also, I don’t know about you, but I don’t tend to look to Tony Montana as my barometer for moral integrity (although, “Scarface” is absolutely a badass movie. Just rewatched it recently, totally holds up).
Again, history isn’t being “reinvented”, it’s being better understood.
I however will not apologize for hating on Columbus, from everything I’ve read in *my* research, he deserves it. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t learn about him, but we shouldn’t have a holiday and statues dedicated to him either.
Speaking of hate, I would *love* to hear your enlightened opinions about Confederate Monuments…